“I’m my own kidnapper”
You are in your final year of college. You have managed to secure a good job through campus placement. You are hanging out with your friends, and suddenly, you zone out and start contemplating life in general, about what you actually wanted to do in life and what you are doing right now. Is this what you wanted? Is this what you want to settle for? Is this making you happy? Are you satisfied with what you have accomplished? Did you secure yourself with a job only because you didn’t want to feel left out when everyone around you is getting placed, and you, too, are just going with the flow?
Are you just kidnapping yourself from the life you really want, holding yourself hostage in jobs or careers that don’t feel right for you because you don’t know what you actually want?
We often find ourselves in situations that leave us wondering about all the things we want, as there are always clues present that steer us in that direction. It comes down to allowing ourselves to see, feel and find them. This particular TEDx speaker Ashley Stahl gives us a three-step procedure to handling this feeling to figure out what we really want as she makes us walk through her personal experience in the TED talk that has led her to observe, analyze and tackle this feeling to help us take, what she likes to call a “you-turn”.
What is a “you-turn”? It is about taking three key steps to creating clarity to reconnect with ourselves and acknowledge what is stopping us from getting what we actually want.
Step 1: Self-audit
Think about the times you took yourself captive on journeys that you didn’t even want to be on but only because you thought it might help pay bills and live a practical life. More often than not, we are afraid of taking risks and fearing changes as most of the time, change leads to something inconvenient, and we don’t want to get out of that autopilot mode of ours to justify being a realist. To be honest, as Ashley Stahl mentions in her talk, “People who call themselves realists are often just dreamers who got their hearts broken somewhere along the way.”
Step 2: Follow your dream.
Begin connecting with one’s body and understanding what feels good by listening to one’s “gut instinct”. Career-wise speaking, create a list of all the job options you would consider and examine each one individually to record the reaction when you picture yourself doing that job. The truth of what you really want often lies in whether that job makes you feel liberated or not.
Create a “joy journal” to write down the moments that bring you the most joy. It can be anything trivial or significant. Look back at the end of 30 days to analyze what you need to do more of in your personal and professional life.
Step 3: Action
Now you get up and walk down the new path. Pursue something from the list that inspires you the most.
No matter where you are in your life right now, you always have a chance at making a “you-turn” and connecting with what feels good, what inspires you and what makes you accessible.
To watch the full TED Talk, visit the following link:
